My Fat Body Is Beautiful

I spent so many years thinking my body was just wrong. Maybe it started in childhood, when my skinny cousin first asked me, "You know you’re fat, right?" as if I didn’t own a mirror. Or when I dieted for the first time just so I could look like the skinny girl actors on TV.

The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized ...

My fat body is beautiful even if it isn’t represented in the media

I’ve noticed that in plus-sized media there is a specific kind of fat that is acceptable. In these popular media forms, the body shape of a fat female usually has little neck fat, with large breasts, curvy thighs and butt, and a relatively flat stomach with only a hint of a pooch. I never felt at home in plus-sized advertisements because the people in the ads looked nothing like me.

My fat body doesn’t carry weight in the places that are considered socially acceptable for my female-assigned gender at birth. Instead, I carry my weight in my midsection. My thighs, bum, and breasts are not curvaceous. My face is round, carrying fat in my jowls and lower neck. Yet, my fat body is still beautiful. Just because it doesn’t add up to other peoples’ standards, doesn’t mean that it isn’t beautiful.

My body is a work of art

My body is a work of art. It serves its purpose - allowing me to smell flowers, to walk, to speak, to sing. To ask more beyond the functions it serves so well seems ungrateful of me.

After all, my body was designed by nature through years and years of evolution. Every aspect of my body has been carefully crafted by the ecosystems that surrounded it for millennia. Why should I expect it to look a certain way, just because that’s what society has deemed as acceptable?

My fat body is beautiful even if it isn’t exactly celebrated in the queer community

Being a fat person in the queer community comes along with its own difficulties. It can make dating more difficult, because skinny or fit people tend to have higher social clout than fat or overweight people.

Although parts of the lesbian community reject certain physical expectations of them as women or non-binary femme people, such as wearing makeup, high heels, and dresses, there is still a level of expectation when it comes to physical appearance. Namely, people tend to still date with physical attributes in mind, especially physical fitness. Think of all of the amazing people you miss out on by cutting out such a large portion of the population!

I hope we can challenge these expectations

One day I hope we can challenge these expectations. Really dig into why they exist, and how they are not serving us as a community.

Recently my friend and I went on a date. My friend mentioned their "large" arms, calling them "beefy," "thick." They were feeling very insecure. I reminded them that they descended from Norwegian Vikings. Their ancestors needed strong arms for their way of life.

I also mentioned that I feel most insecure about my big belly. I said that when I feel this way, I remind myself of all of the famines that my ancestors must have survived before me. And then my ancestors passed on that ability to me, by giving me a body with an amazing ability to store food as fuel for times of need.

So yes, my fat body is beautiful. And so is yours.